just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
