Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
