I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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