There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
