dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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