So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
