yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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