Is it normal to miss your booty call?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
