I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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