The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
