It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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