Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
