So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize