I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
