Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
