He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
