bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Terrible idea I love it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
