Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
