no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
