Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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