i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
