I CAN MOONWALK!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
