So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
