stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
