forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
