if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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