I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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