We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
