i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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