sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
