Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
