there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize