It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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