the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
