Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
