I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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