im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
