I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
