New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
