At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
