Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
