And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
