nut hugger
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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