whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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