they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize