sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
