Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
