apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
