I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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