K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's Friday. Sex?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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