And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
