That's intense
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Randomize
