I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You left your underwear on the fireplace
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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