i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
please come you make the beer taste better
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
