I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
