Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
