A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
