at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I need to calm my uterus...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
