Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
