i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
