i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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