What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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