I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
